Lake Candles With A Purpose
It’s officially spring and heading to your favorite lake is sounding like a seriously good idea. We are right there with you! As candlemakers, we are always looking for aromatic inspirations and ways to bring our olfactory experiences into your home…or in this case, your lake home!
But that’s not all. The idea behind our Lake Candle series means much more. Our “Let’s Get Lake-ed” line is intended to direct focus to the effects of “body shaming” and “slut shaming” on people of all shapes, sizes, genders, sexual identity, lifestyle choices, and all forms of oppression that affect the multiple, intersectional identities held by members of our community.
Our lake candles depict a graphic of the lakes shape, the lake name and the phrase, “Let’s Get Lake-ed.”
So what the heck does that mean and how does it relate to shaming?
Let’s Get Lake-ed
What is Body Shaming & Slut Shaming?
The meaning behind our “Let’s Get Lake-ed” candle line is to celebrate girls, boys, women, men, young, and old of all shapes and sizes and support the fight against of body shaming. Body shaming is nothing new.
Body shaming, as defined by Los Angeles City Attorney Mike Feuer in the Los Angeles Times in 2020:
“Body shaming is humiliating, with often painful, long-term consequences,” he said. “It mocks and stigmatizes its victims, tearing down self-respect and perpetuating the harmful idea that our unique physical appearances should be compared to air-brushed notions of ‘perfect.’ What really matters is our character and humanity. While body shaming, in itself, is not a crime, there are circumstances in which invading one’s privacy to accomplish it can be. And we shouldn’t tolerate that.”
Body shaming also holds a strong position in my 17 year old daughters mind, specifically “slut shaming.” If you aren’t familiar with the phrase “slut shaming,” Very Well Family (verywellfamily.com) defines it better than I could ever attempt to try.
“Slut-shaming is a form of cyberbullying where girls are targeted on social media and bullied through degradation or humiliation for their sexuality. What this means is that girls are often ridiculed for the way they look, the way they dress and their presumed level of sexual activity…”
You can learn more about the types slut shaming and the effects of slut shaming here.
When Shaming Turns To …
One frightening component of slut shaming is when words turn into actions. For example, you are at a college party. You are wearing a form fitting short dress. There is a lot of alcohol involved. You head to the bathroom for a potty break. You close the door. Next thing you know, someone has broken into the bathroom. It is that guy who has been hitting on you all night. You tell him to leave. He doesn’t. You ask him to get away from you. He doesn’t. You ask him to stop touching you. He doesn’t. You tell him “no” multiple times. Your pleas fall on deaf ears. You are raped. As he’s leaving, he tells you that you were “asking for it” when you put on that dress.
When “No Means No” Falls on Deaf Ears
We’ve all heard the phrase “no means no” but if you have been living on another planet since forever, here is a brief synopsis.
“No Means No Worldwide (NMNW) is a global rape prevention organization whose mission is to end sexual violence against women and children. We train instructors in high-risk environments to deliver our proven IMpower rape prevention curricula to boys and girls ages 10-20. Our research shows an average 50% decrease in the incidence of sexual assault for girls taught IMpower. Girls learn to identify risk, say “no” and talk their way out of trouble. If that “no” is not respected, they also learn physical skills to back it up. Boys learn to challenge rape myths, ask for consent and intervene if they anticipate or witness predatory behavior.”
When Words Don’t Work
During discussions with my daughter, we talked about what happens when “no means no” falls on deaf ears.
Sometimes you just have to turn words into action.
Fact: Nearly one in five women in the US has been raped at some point during her lifetime.
Fact: Any form of resistance significantly reduces the likelihood of a perpetrator completing a rape — 87% on average by one calculation.
Conclusion: When words don’t work, it’s time to take action.
It’s Time for Action
Sometimes words alone just do not work. Words mean nothing to someone who just doesn’t care. When words don’t work, it’s time for action. We need to learn how to protect ourselves. Period. Yes, we also need to “teach our boys” how to respect women but in the interim, self defense is mandatory. Predators need to know that “words” are not our only line of defense. They need to become very aware of our power and knowledge.
Every female, of every age, NEEDS to take a series of self-defense classes. Not sure how? Search Google for “Self Defense Classes Near Me.”Not just one but a series. We need to learn how to use our keys as a line of defense. Heck, we need to know how to handle a pocket knife. We need to carry pepper spray. We need to pick-up a pack of self-defense screamers and give a couple to our friends. We need to not talk about it, we need to do it.
How Can I Help?
To further the fight against body shaming & slut shaming, we will be donating 50% of all “Let’s Get Lake-ed” lake candle sales to No Means No Worldwide. So all you have to do is buy a lake candle! You will also have the opportunity to add your name to our list of No Means No Worldwide support list after you purchase your candle.